


the pain’s alright

by scoundreldays



Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, M/M, Tattoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23843263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scoundreldays/pseuds/scoundreldays
Summary: Karen got a tattoo and the pain’s alright.
Relationships: Karen Khachanov/Andrey Rublev, Karen Khachanov/Daniil Medvedev
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	the pain’s alright

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Ink by Coldplay when I got this idea. I had to get it out of my head. You can listen to it while reading. Sorry that it is so short and sad. I hope you will like it anyway.
> 
> (Disclaimer: English isn’t my first language, sorry for the mistakes)

“You’re sure? You don’t have to do it, if you don’t feel like doing it”

“Yes I’m sure, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I want to do it”

“Okay, let’s go then”

Karen took a deep breath before stepping inside the tattoo shop, Andrey by his side.

It was almost like the first time.

He took a look at the first tattoo he got inside of his wrist. He had been lowkey scared of the pain at the time, and heard it was one of the less pain-receptive areas. So, he had chosen the wrist.

  
  


*****

_It was Daniil’s idea. To get the same tattoo, together. In New York. At first, Karen was reluctant to this idea, to say the least. He really agreed just because it was Daniil. And a little tattoo couldn’t harm, right?_

_“I’ll hold your hand big guy, don’t worry” Daniil laughed._

_“Don’t make fun of me Danya.” Karen’s fist imperceptibly clenched while Daniil was driving them out of the city to the tattoo shop they had chosen._

_“It won’t hurt too much I promise you” . Daniil took his eyes off the road for one second to look at him._

_“Keep your eyes on the road dummy”_

_“Not my fault that you’re a sight for sore eyes solnyshko”_

_Karen rolled his eyes, which was pretty much a recurrent reaction to this hopeless boy who turned out to be his boyfriend._

_“Well if you want to check me out for longer than a few seconds, for love’s sake, keep your damn beautiful eyes on the road”._

_Daniil chuckled lightly._

_When they got out of the tattoo shop, it seemed that Daniil couldn’t help teasing Karen again._ _He took his boyfriend’s wrist between his hands to give a gentle kiss on the plasticized tattoo, playfully looking at him as if to say “so, does that hurt?”_

_“Yes, you were right, the pain’s alright” Karen said, rolling his eyes for the tenth time this day, maybe more._

******

Back in their hotel rooms this night, Andrey was tossing and turning, he couldn’t find sleep.

Tomorrow, Karen and him would play the doubles final against Nico and Pierre. They had a mission.

He got up, his footsteps leading him to the door of the twin room next to his. He didn’t really think it through. Something told him to check on his partner.

He quietly pushed open the door.

It was almost a surreal paint before his eyes. A beautiful heartbreaking scenery.

Karen was sitting on the floor, back against his bed, facing the bay window and the starry sky. His shoulders slumped and his head bent down.

Andrey wondered if he had heard him coming in.

He walked slowly to Karen and sat down next to him.

Karen still hadn’t shown any sign that would tell he had acknowledged Andrey’s presence. Andrey could detail every feature marked by the sadness and the pain on the older Russian’s face.

He then looked down on the nape of his neck. A thin drop just under his hairline.

******

_At the Australian Open, Daniil had the first nosebleed that everyone witnessed. He had immediately dismissed any seriousness about it._

_Then as the months went by, somehow the nosebleeds got worse. He had to pull out of Washington, then of US Open before playing his final._

_Then the skies fell upon them._

_Karen and Andrey were watching the screens from the players lounge in Bercy while warming up for their upcoming doubles match. That’s when after an upteenth nosebleed during a changeover, they helplessly witnessed Daniil collapsing on the court._

_That afternoon was all a blur. A lot of agitation and fear. None of them really remember._ _A lot of panicked “what’s happening?”. A lot of shouts in corridors. Too much noise._

_They remember a little when the doctors told everyone in the waiting area that it was over, and what? What was over? His_ _career? What? What was over? He was playing a match forty minutes ago._

_No. It’s not something they can remember each minute of. They don’t remember who left the room to cry, oh, his coach maybe, he wouldn’t have shown it. They don’t remember who decided to took the other in their arms first._

_You remember when the reality dawns on you. You remember when you realize you’ve lost your friend and boyfriend forever._

_Gone, at twenty-four._

******

The older Russian’s eyes were shining.  
  
Andrey grabbed his wrist and wrapped an arm around his neck. He gently stroke the newly inked skin. He felt Karen shuddering. His first reaction since Andrey had entered the room.

“Sorry. It hurts?”

Karen shook his head.

“No, the pain’s alright.” he answered, barely above a whisper.

They remained silent against each other. 

New York was so beautiful from where they were standing.

“He loved this city” Karen said, breaking the silence. “I miss him”

“I know, love, I know”

It was no use to say again that yes, maybe they could have done something when they still had the time. It was always there. The ‘what ifs’ would forever tear them in the flesh. 

The blond planted a kiss on the corner of the other’s lips.

Karen cried himself to sleep between Andrey’s arms.

*****

Both were thinking about him when they lifted the trophy towards the stars in Flushing Meadows.

Everyone in the stadium was remembering the other Russian boy who stormed in their courts the previous year, defiant and fierce, who played with their nerves and masterly marked their spirits with his brilliant fight and his hilarious and humble speech. If he had not won the trophy, he had somehow won their hearts.

_It was your tournament. We won it for you, solnyshko._

It was him and Andrey now. 

Karen will never forget Daniil. It will always hurt.


End file.
